Tonight, I walked around the outside mall near my home, the radiant gibbous moon waxing above, shining her glow onto my brow. It was so majestic. it was a cool summer midnight stroll through an outside mall lit by Christmas lights. I came to the huge fountain and I saw a moth in the water of it. I instinctively scooped it up, it could have been dead.. it wasn’t though, and I helped it dry its wings off so it could fly away. It thanked me for saving its life, even crawled all over my hand in gratitude.
I saved a life tonight. That little creature, which according to society is supposedly so primitive and expendable compared to me. It now will have another chance to live because of me. Such powerful symbolism there, saving the life of a moth, colloquially seen as an ugly caterpillar that couldn’t yet make it to be a butterfly so it has the ugly duckling symbolism, and someone saved them from torment. That right there is almost symbolic of me being that moth, being saved by a benevolent force. Magical. I also saw a multi-colored black beetle cross my path, a sign of great luck and many inner transformations on the rise and the rebirth of a new perspective. That beetle was crawling for survival, hoping not to be preyed upon or squished as it sought for shelter and food, as all nature does, yet it was going among busy feet, for me, seen as hanging in there and shining the beauty of my colors even through the darkness of transformation; there is light at the end of the tunnel. And also an earth toad that allowed me to handle him without him peeing on me. Toads being my totems, they are symbols of rebirth, adaptability, and moving between the realms of mundane and spiritual, so seeing one really just represented another aspect of me coming to an end, relating to my identity which is currently in the works of transcending what I currently knew about my soul.
Everything that I was going through, all the helplessness, the bitterness, people trying to speak to me, guide me, yet nothing was relevant.. I honestly feel that I simply had to have an experience through my own sentience, rather through another’s. Guidance and wisdom is wonderful, intuitive and informing, but not necessarily going to procure any bout of understanding or change. Most times, people have to do the work themselves and in their own ways for them to learn or be granted a new perspective.
All this natural magic and wonder experienced on a midnight stroll through an outside mall area that was surprisingly heavily blended well with tall trees, grass patches, benches, shrubbery, and gardens. I took pictures with another person who was with me and after, then I wished on a quarter.. I saw the reflection of the fountain on the water surface and thought of duality, which really rang true for everything that has been going on inside of me.
I looked up at Luna, and I knew exactly my wish: Let me become one with all that is.. earth and cosmos. Let me learn the symbols, the language of this world. Let me know how fate guides the patient student, let me know how to communicate with the world, for that is the essence of true magic. Magic, honestly, true magic was felt tonight. I saw it in everything and was reminded of how busy we are that we never quiet ourselves to listen to the faint sounds of nature, or quiet our emotions to experience the sentience of living magic. My wish was literally to know more this language and to become one with all that is. I believe that it’s by that understanding that I can unravel the marvels of creation, thus harnessing the power of mastering myself, so that I will always have a direct way to get back on my path if I ever find myself straying, and I have a means for coping with my path to enlightenment and self-discovery.
The language of the world and how it speaks to us, there is magic everywhere. Where did the magic go, people always wonder. They say it’s gone.. but it never left, we’ve just believed it was gone. We’ve forgotten about it, but it has patiently been beating this whole time. The world still beats, has a pulse, and magic is in everything. I once saw a quote that said something like how the earth isn’t dying, we’re just killing it. Isn’t that true, though? Our perception literally changes everything, but sometimes we’re so sure of our ideas of world and self that anything beyond the comprehension cannot be valid. Isn’t that wrong?
Magic really is here, it’s in all things, even a silly moth drowning in a pool, there is magic, because I saved a life and I gained a profound experience from it. It changed my view point, and in some small way, it changed my life. It’s said that wherever you go, you should leave a bit of yourself in everything you do. Well, wherever we go, a little bit of where we are is left on us too, isn’t it? That is magical right there. That is the cream of the crop right there; that is true Romanticism. To gain a profound life change from looking at a tree or standing on a high bluff looking down. There’s something so magical about standing on a beach, mentally noting how small you really are.
Whether we say that magic is here or not, it is… truly. To experience it, we just have to believe it, and see it, and we then look for it. In this world, we have strayed so far from nature and conquered the globe that we have forgotten the mysteries of life. We have discovered the geography, almost all land, there is no longer mystery of lands and regions, fantasy is made of that mystery, magic is made of that mystery. We’ve discovered the world, and science has become our folklore. In that world, we lack imagination and wonder, something we humans thrive on. How do we as 21st century people reconstruct the ancient world to fit it into the modern one? I believe that time is coming back.
In the pursuit of magical destiny and fate, we learn that everything is fine, always, even the most horrible times and the happiest ones are magical. They offer a neat learning experience that changes our life in some contributing way. To me, that is magic right there. Is it not that magic simply is the means of accomplishing a task or something occurring outside of conventional or physical means that would easily be completed through physical activity? An experience does the same thing. It shapes our mind. That is magic. But we often forget about that because we never think about it..
Even when that moth falls into a fountain to drown, a life that was born merely destined to die shortly after, yet some kind of divine intervention comes in to save the day. To that moth who was drifting aimlessly about in a wishing fountain, frantic and panicked signals emanating from its aura.. I was that divine break, I was the hand that gave them exactly the hope they prayed for on a conscious level. In my learning experience, it changed my life. I saw the beauty and magic tonight in animals and nature and there can be no substitute experience as unique as that.
I’ve seen totems and such before, but not like this. I’ve known magic before, and it was profound, but not like this. This time around, it was deeper, much more magical, and eye-opening. This time, it was as if I could feel and know the spirit of mother earth in all things around me. She came to life in even the benches, fog lights, and buildings. She showed me that her magic beats in all things upon her scar, that even as we alchemists twist her metals and woods into modern technology, these creations are not dead, they are merely creations filled with inactive, non-beneficial energy, but there would come the magician who transmutes it into beauty through the power of intention and consciousness.
No matter how alone or emotionally unstable we feel, there is someone laughing, joyful, happy.. someone somewhere… There is magic in that idea, knowing that a world continues to beat even though yours seems like it’s crumbling away. There is magic at least somewhere and it’s in that beauty that hope is born for you, to know that it can get so bad, and yet somewhere somehow there is goodness left still beating in the perception of someone else. That’s magic indeed.
You need only look for it. Many things happen to us. We often make permanent decisions to temporary emotions. Always stop to breathe, tell yourself: “Everything is with reason. Everything is guided by fate. What is the reason for this now?” You have to… if you can’t.. you wind up angry and distressed with no help. You are unhappy, unloved, peeved, and in such a disgusted state of being.
I’ve been so negative, angry, hateful, bitter, judgemental, moody, and pissed off at the world and myself for the past month, because there are so many new changes going on inside of me. People look in and try to help, but it’s unhelpful, and whereas I love everyone for their intentions, no words can help me. They are blurry in the face of visual perception. This change doesn’t speak English, this transformation speaks the magic of nature, something I felt and was guided by tonight. What I experienced was true ancient magic, fate in the making.
For what I’m experiencing, no words have yet been written, for it’s unique in its own right. Everyone is unique, not everything is plug and play. Some people walk a different path, one potentially never traveled, and that’s the beauty of the world. It’s ever expanding, growing, changing before our very own ideas of what is perceived as typical. It is said that all stories are unique, yet universally connected by some underlying consciousness. That’s very true, which is how when that person takes that unique life path of discovery where no one can help them at times, but often offer wise advice. It is because we are all linked through the magic of nature, world, self, community, cosmos, and collective consciousness that we all form understanding in new ways.
For this transformation, it is different this time, and I embrace it. I am speaking with the language of nature, being guided visually, by sound, experiences, adventures.. I love it when people offer words of wisdom, I do it also for they before me, but English is a man-made language, it is profoundly limiting at times. The best remedy is often silence, or artistic expression, ones with no words, only the profundity of images, symbols, interpretation, and colors.
For now, I am guided by totems, visual experiences, adventures, and synchronicities, which is what to me is the essence of true Pagan magic right there, just like concepts that were employed in the new Pixar film, Brave. That movie was filled with changing fate and the very magic I speak of, for it was the experience that I was going through at the time, and I found it uncanny how the movie related to my spiritual situation.
Tonight, I was reminded of the magic of the world. I was educated by four or so small experiences that even though I can’t hear it, see it, smell it, feel it, or experience it.. it doesn’t mean it’s not there or I can’t get it whenever I need to. I’ve been so moody lately, stuck in this mentality as perceiving everything through my mind. That truly seems so closed-minded for someone who’s outspokenly so open-minded. Perhaps I was listening to new age brainwash too much, but there truly are things out there that are very real and work very well, even if I’m not necessarily experiencing that. Magic beats in our very hearts and we never often acknowledge it, because of mental-perceptional shielding, and we never slow down to shut up, stop speaking to the world, and let the world speak to us.
When was the last time you seriously didn’t speak one single opinion and was 100% sentient and receptive to the entire world and cosmos before you? I’m beginning to believe that is truly what “letting your inhibitions go” truly means on a deep, spiritual level. Because we’re too busy feeling the entire world through our bodies, rather our bodies flowing through the entire world at large, that is what it means to become one with all that is. To know that your body has to encompass something larger than you is to literally just become one with it. That is why silence is enlightenment because when we stop speaking…. our ears are allowed to listen to a large world that had been speaking the entire time.
Find the magic in life… You are a blessed, happy radiant being even when you don’t realize it or you’re too angry, bitter, or negative to realize it. Part of beating that phase of expression is simply letting all your inhibitions go, taking that leap of faith, and being guided by the language of fate, to kick you back on that path to destiny. People and the world will always tear you down out of envy, intimidation, bullying, cruelty, and more. Be strong, laugh idiocy away.. I stopped letting people affect me so long ago.
I used to hate being at home because it was so obnoxious, debilitating, and stressful, Even just being home for two days has made me crabby. But instead, I saw that it reminded me of how far I’ve come along. It reminded me how happy I was to leave and start my own life, doing what I want to do, being who I want to be with no fear and having the courage to express myself, and being home just showed me how much growth I’ve accomplished.
When we feel upset, lost, angry, unable to coax ourselves, feeling helpless even in the face of outside helpfulness, feeling lost, or wrathful…. Quiet the mind, for when we stop speaking, we realize that there had been a world speaking ever so loudly the entire time. When we learn to quiet the mind, we are guided on the path of fate, taken deep into the realm of magic, and we learn how to lead the best possible life for ourselves. WE are spoken to, for it was World the entire time watching us fondly, paying attention, and she has the best remedy for us.
We would have never known there was magic unless we let go and allowed ourselves to be receptive, unguarded, bare, and open to the extreme. Know that you are protected, loved, and guarded by Mother Nature herself, spirit guides, and higher beings. Know that as you regenerate, rejuvenate, and receive the healing of magic and divine receptivity, you are protected from the bad stuff coming in. And a lesson to learn in this world, is that with self and life transformation, there is no good or bad, there just is. Even a mistake is a blessing in disguise, for it teaches us and allow so us to learn.
I evenly recently began doubting these powers, simply because my scientific mind was trying to conceive how divine healing and receptivity worked. I understand now that as this type of magic pours into you, the bad in you, mother earth takes it all, takes everything you no longer need, and you keep the goodness that came in. I’ve known that science versus mysticism, the supernatural, metaphysics, and the beyond is somewhat cohesive, but I now understand that the two are not always going to be compatible. The Beyond is a science that we have yet to invent tools/technology for proper studying. My scientific mind isn’t always going to be able to conceive that which is greater than me, and I’ve erroneously lost faith in these processes because of my lack of scientific explanation, but isn’t that spiritual arrogance? It is, and I know it is. There will always be things that are conventionally unexplained, and although I should have known that, perhaps I entered some phase a while back so that I could be reborn out of it, perhaps that rebirth was last night..
What I’ve learned tonight was so life-changing.. and everything that led up to tonight had been magically cooking for the past few days, and I was systematically led to this experience. In my patience and trust for the guidance of higher peace even though my mind kept screaming for rejection out of emotional helplessness, I asked, waited, albeit a long time, and I received. And had I never quieted my mind, made myself available, receptive, and vulnerable to the call of the wild, I wouldn’t have seen something so loud and bold right in front of face, because it truly is the mind that creates the world around us.. in our current belief and perspective of it. This is the essence of what it means to be open-minded, to let down conventional and spiritual arrogance, admit there will never be things we will fully understand, and that which is currently accepted as generally understood, could change in an instant. Is not that the mind of a scientist, though? Look at the evolution of our understanding of the atom, chemistry, etc.
Everything truly is so interconnected. We simply must simplify ourselves down to bare inhibitions and receptivity.. allow the magic to flow in. Be completely receptive, unguarded, inhibited, vulnerable, bare, and open… having no fear, no worries, no stress, no fright… being perfectly still and allowing divinity to POUR deep into the seat of your soul.
When it comes to bitterness and a bad mood you can’t shake off, or a negative mind that wants solace and peace, that wants to be free and positive, count your blessings, search for the magic (it’s definitely there), yearn for passion and self truth, yearn for guidance and self-understanding on perplex levels of consciousness, be receptive and vulnerable, if you get knocked down, maybe it was so you could build a sturdier building this time or begin elsewhere and be led on the path of fate, and in life, have gratitude, not attitude, everything changes based on the frequency your mind is set at, or what array of stations you can receive for knowledge, wisdom, understanding, and sapience.
Even after these amazing revelations, I still feel rather numb, contemplative, and filled with perplexing thoughts. I can’t wait to dream tonight, and see how my mind works it all into the bigger picture. I won’t feel better over night, but I know that I’m not alone, and that when I know that I really need some physical evidence of the divine, it’s never short in stock, it’s literally ubiquitous. Faith is a funny thing, but highly fascinating. I love it all.
I love life, I love my partner, I love my home, my cats, my fish, my friends, this world.. everything. Just filled with genuine love and gratitude for all that is, beats, and will ever be.